don’t give up
2013 has brought me justice
So, I am finally back in some small semblance of the word. For those of you who have not followed my blog in any capacity let me provide you with a short and very abbreviated recap:
I gave birth to my wonderful son in 2010. His birth resulted in permanent nerve damage to me. The pain from the nerve damage got worse and worse and worse. I finally had to stop working and eventually lost my job in July of 2012 because of my medical condition (pudendal neuralgia.)
Approximately six months after my son was born and I was diagnosed with this permanent nerve condition, I decided to sue the birth center. Well, the trial started on 4/8/13. It lasted approximately two weeks. We won. They were found guilty of medical negligence and were found to be responsible for the harm that they caused me.
So, I have had justice. Monetarily this was not some huge win. However, the guilty verdict was priceless, at least it was and is priceless for me. So where does that leave me? Well I am on many medications and still in pain. I am unable to work, still. So I am left with trying to move forward to some semblance of life.
Which brings me back to here, my blog, my website. Maybe now that I have found an internal peace from obtaining justice, I will try to start blogging again. I make no current guarantees to the frequency, but I shall try.
So here is some advice, never give up. Believe me, I know that life can look bleak, but giving up gets you nothing and takes you nowhere. Fight. Even if it is for something small. Even if it is simply to see your child smile, fight whatever is bringing you down. If you are a writer, use the emotion and write. If you are an artist of any kind, create. Let loose and charge into battle. You may surprise yourself; you just may win.
Personal Pick Me Ups…
I think that every person (writer or not) deals with days they are down, grouchy, cranky, and completely bitchy. It happens. It’s part of life. When I am in an exceptionally bad mood I can’t focus. Not on my writing. Not on cleaning the house. Not on anything. I’m not really good for anything but sulking.
However, one of the ways I have learned to combat this crankiness is to focus and think about things that make me happy. I also try and do things that I find relaxing (right now I’m listening to a brain sync meditation track by Kelly Howell–www.brainsync.com and I’m blogging.)
I journal. Regularly. On the back inside cover of my journal I’ve written notes to myself. Things like remember if you are bitchy then pause, breathe deeply, and imagine Pelegra. That almost always calms me down. I’ve written things I’m thankful for. I remind myself that writing is my dream and worth every second of effort. Most importantly I remind myself to believe. Believe in my dream. Believe in myself.
Anyway, so I suggest that you have a happy book–a small notebook with happy thoughts–or even just one page. something you can go to for a personal pick me up.
I’ve also taken to buying inspirational prints. Technically I think they are motivational prints and I realize that sounds cheesy but I really like the two that I have. One of them is of rings left in water after a drop has fallen and says “Serenity: the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” and the other one is of a dock looking across a body of water at a mountain and says “ambition: the world makes way for those who know where they are going.” Oddly enough I bought both of them at Blockbuster.
So when I am down I read my notes to myself and study my prints and they help me remember to keep working toward my goals and believe that I can accomplish them.