inspiration
Finding a Way Through Chaos
Chaos. I think that describes how I’ve been feeling perfectly. Whenever life itself overwhelms me and I’m filled with anxiety, doubts, anger, and well every negative emotion possible. I seem to forget, the simplest way to remove all of it. Write. I know that probably sounds corny or stupid, but when know you are meant to do something and you are doing it, everything else just seems to fall away and the world is right again. I know I’ve written about this before, but I often forget my own lessons. I haven’t spent enough time writing lately. Yeah, Monday I had a good excuse. Last night, however, not so much. Tonight and this weekend I am going to finish my final edit of Pelegra and the Son of Merek and rewrite my synopsis. By the way, I hate writing synopses. I really do. It’s so difficult to walk that fine line between enough and too much, plus there’s the whole condensing a book down to a page description. I know, I know, it can’t be that hard right? Oh, I did send off a query to a new agent. I’m hopeful. A member of the writing critique group that I belong to suggested him. So, the waiting begins or I suppose continues.
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3rd Viewing
Hi Again,
Well I went and saw Twilight again tonight. This is the third time and will probably be the last time I see it in theatres since the dvd comes out in March. I plan on pre ordering the special edition. Seeing Twilight always gives me hope. I know that may sound very strange, but it’s the truth. I’ve had not a bad week, just stressfull. It’s been the kind of week where doubt creeps through invisible crevices in my brain and wreaks havoc. Oddly enough getting to go see Twilight again, helps banish the doubt and seal up any entry points. You may be wondering what on earth does one have to do with the other. Well you see, if you go to Stephanie Meyer’s website and read her “story” of how she thought up, wrote, and published Twilight and the following books you realize that yes it can be done. The timeline that she wrote the book and signed an agent is amazing. Knowing that someone else has done it, someone who never really planned on being a writer. Well it gives me hope. Yes, I realize you are thinking that J.K. Rowling falls into this category as well. Somehow though, I relate better to Meyers. Perhaps because I am so in love with the Harry Potter series it’s hard for me to see JK Rowling as merely human. LOL. I’m sure if she read that, she’d probably laugh. I realize I’m rambling and not making much sense. The gist of it is, remember those that have already achieved success because they are living, walking, breathing proof that success happens. It’s simply about not giving up.
No one can hold you back except for yourself
So it’s 12:53am and I’m still awake. Which kinda sucks seeing as I do have to get up and go to work (the day job) tomorrow. So I took another half a tablet of melatonin and took a long hot shower. I was thinking while I was in the shower. I was thinking to about a year ago when I had started heavily writing again and was trying to find my way as a writer again. I decided I wanted to go to a writer’s conference only I didn’t know where the nearest one was or how expensive it would be. So I googled Oregon and writers conference and that is how I found the Willamette Writers ( A wonderful organization). I was talking to a good friend of mine about it, his name is Fred. He offered to pay for me to go to the conference and I could pay him back. Which he did and I am doing. That evening one of things he said to me as stuck with me and I remember it over and over again. I had been talking about my dream of being published and he looked at me and said, “Really the only thing holding you back is you.” I blinked at him several times, momentarily speechless. He was absolutely right. So that moment came back to me tonight. You see I have received several rejections and have been a little (yes only a little) down about it. But I figured my match was out there somewhere and it’s only a matter of time. I realized though, no one can hold me back. Not an agent who says no. Not an editor who doesn’t like me. Not a critic who hates my work. No one can hold me back except for myself. I don’t see any rejection as failure. If I were to quit now, that would be failure and that’s not something I am going to do. So if you are like me and still searching for your perfect match out in agent/editor land, don’t give up. No one can hold you back except for yourself.
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